Wednesday, March 20, 2013
have been staying at home these days..been thinking of alot of things.. on and off..
Thinking of my future, what i wanna do in life, relationships.. for the single me now..
i especially dread relationships now but i am afraid of being lonely too. i damm hate those haunting memories of the past (#>.< #) (T.T)!!!
Thinking of the how the jerks hurt me in the past >.<
thinking of endless waiting for texts, which never cames in..
tired of endless useless and helpless crying.
keep on blaming myself for all the wrong things that went wrong in those relationshits!
doing things for the other parties which i dont like but forced myself ..
constant dissappiontment no matter how many chances i gave..
and besides missing i can do nothing.. this kind of pathetic feeling >.< i really detest!!!
Now at least i dont think of anyone when i wakeup or go to bed. no crying as much..
although i missed those past happy moments that were replaced with ugly memories..
My mum told me " girl, why are unhappy? since you already have us and no need to worry about foods, shelter and clothes right??
listening to this, i felt comforted.. alittle.
exercising nowadays to get rid of all the unwanted pain inside me buidling up..
entertaining myself with dramas and games.. seems to help a little too .
listening to meaningful songs .. helps too.
i followed this girl which i would not mention her name.. here..
i felt that she was like me last time..
she is very sad now keep clinging to her ex , i feel like telling her to cheer up. and move on and get over that jerk! but i could not.. i know it is none of my business but i really felt sorry for her. seeing the old me in her now..i do hope that things get better eventually somehow...
i always tell myself stop pursuing things arent yours.. as if they are meant to be yours they will stay no matter what :)
So that is all for now the so emo post as usual
thanks for visiting here anyway :))